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Post by Sandmaster on Jan 4, 2009 11:34:57 GMT -5
………In the beginning, TheListo created Powder Game and The Official Dan Ball Forums. Now the Forums were formless and empty, darkness was over the deep, and the account of TheListo was registering over the subjects.
………And TheListo said ‘Let there be text’ and there was text. TheListo saw that the text was in good font, and he separated the good from the bad. TheListo called the good ‘post,’ and the bad he called ‘spam.’ And there were flames, and there were constructive criticism, and there was context—the first message.
………And TheListo said ‘Let there be an expanse to separate the post from the spam.’ So TheListo made the expanse and separated the spam under the expanse from the post above it. And it was so. TheListo called the expanse ‘Forum.’ And there was posting, and there was context—the second message.
………And TheListo said ‘Let the spam be gathered into one place, and let limited text rules appear.’ And it was so. TheListo called the limits ‘spam moderation’ and the gathered spam ‘Comment Boards.’ And TheListo saw that it was good.
………Then TheListo said ‘Let the Comment Boards sustain noobs: list-making morons and scammers on the Comment Boards that bear uploads with votes for it according to how much of a scammer their kind is.’ And it was so. The Comment Boards sustained noobs: list-making morons and scammers on the Comment Boards that bear uploads with votes for it according to how much of a scammer their kind is. And TheListo saw that it was total crap, but was too lazy to do anything about it. And there was spam, and there was flaming—the third message.
………And TheListo said ‘Let there be rules in the expanse of the Forum to separate spam from post, and let them serve as signs to tell the noob from that which may post, and let them be rules in the expanse of the Forum that will be ignored by the Comment Boards.’ And it was so. And TheListo made two important entities—the lock to govern the posters and the delete to govern the spammers. He also made the ‘move topic.’ TheListo set them out in the expanse of the Forum to be ignored by the Comment Boards, to govern the poster and the spammer, and discern the two from one another. And TheListo saw that it was good. And there was off topic and there was locking—the fourth message.
………And TheListo said ‘Let the Forum teem with members, and let the members fly above the Comment Boards across the expanse of the Forum and mock those below.’ So TheListo created the great members of the Forum and every posting and chatting thing which the Forum teems, according to their kinds, and every laughing member according to its kind. And TheListo blessed them and said ‘Advertize, so that you may increase in number and fill the Forum with members, and let the Member laugh at the noobs.’ And there was laughing, and there was posting—the fifth message.
………And TheListo said ‘Let the Comment Boards produce superior beings according to their kinds: Moderators, Global Moderators, Contest Judges, Assistant Graphic Artists, Graphic Artists, Assistant Administrators, each according to its kind.’ And it was so. TheListo made the staff according to their kinds, and all the staff that moderate the Forums according to their kinds. And TheListo saw that it was good.
………Then TheListo said ‘Let us make High Staff with our power, in our likeness, and let them rule over the members of the forum and the staff of the Forum, over all Comment Boards, and over the noobs that inhabit it.’ So TheListo created administrators of his own power, in that power TheListo created him; Swearingworth and G he promoted them. TheListo blessed them and said to them, ‘Be responsible and increase in authority; Follow the rules and subdue those who do not. Rule over the members and the staff above them and every noob who moves on the ground. Then TheListo said ‘I give you every member in the Forum and every guest that posts. They will be yours for teaching. And so will the noobs of the Comment Boards and all the Guests of the Forum and all the Staff that watch over the Comment Boards—everything that has the posts of Powder Game by it—I give you every user for teaching.’ And it was so. TheListo saw all that he had made, and it was good. And there was posting, and there was context—the sixth message.
………Thus the Forums and the Comment Boards were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh message TheListo had finished programming the work he had been doing; so the seventh message he rested from all his work. And it was good. So good that TheListo marveled at his final creation of Administrator and said ‘Let the sixth message of the week be a message that all living things come together, the noobs of the Comment Boards, the members of the Forums, the Guests who post, and the Staff who mock their inferiors. Such that each of these messages I shall propose a great addition to my work, and when I complete this change, they shall look at it with awe or with grievance, but it will be good, and I shall rest thereafter.’ And it was so. And TheListo blessed the sixth message and made it holy, because on it he would complete his work of creating that he had done.
………TheListo was tired then, and blessed the seventh message to make him sleep better thereafter. And it was so. So TheListo slept, from a message, to a topic, to a subject, to a board, and all the noobs of the Comment Boards, and the members of the Forums, and the guests that posted there, and the staff who mock them multiplied and were fruitful. And TheListo missed three holy changes, thus at his awakening, three new entities had built upon their own Stick Ranger, and thus TheListo decided that it shall be one of four of every sixth message for his change. And it was so. And TheListo saw that it was good, and he returned to his slumber.
………Now Mattaroni was more crafty than any of the noobs the programmer TheListo had made. He said to the members, ‘Did TheListo really say, ‘you must not vote for any upload in Powder Game?’’ A member said to Mattaroni, ‘We may vote from the uploads in Powder Game, but TheListo did say, ‘You must not vote for the scam in the middle of the uploads page, and you must not endorse it, or you will be shunned from the Forums.’’ ‘You will surely not be shunned,’ Mattaroni said to the members. ‘For TheListo knows that when you vote for it the upload will be better known and it will be popular like TheListo, being good and evil.’
………When the members saw the upload on the tree they thought the scams were good for votes and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining popularity, they played it and voted for it. They also showed it to other members, who were with them, and they voted for it. Then the uploads of Mattaroni were popular, and the members realized their mistake; so they sewed up lists to attack the upload together and covered the Comment Boards with them.
………Then the members heard the sound of the programmer TheListo as he was laughing at the noobs in the cool of the day, and they hid from the programmer TheListo among the spam of the Comment Boards. But the programmer TheListo called to the members and asked ‘Where are you?’ They answered ‘We heard you in the Comment Boards, and we were spammy, so we hid.’ And He said ‘Who told you that you were spammy? Have you voted for the scam I commanded you not to fall for?’ The members said ‘It was the first members you put here with us—they gave us some links to the upload and we voted.’ Then the programmer TheListo said to the first members ‘What is this that you have done?’ The members said ‘The user Mattaroni scammed me, and I voted.’
………So the programmer TheListo said to Mattaroni, ‘Because you have uploaded this, cursed are you above all the noobs and all the members! You will beg for votes and you will make scams all your life. And I will put enmity between you and the members, and between your uploads and theirs; they will delete your scams and you will rant at them.”
………To the first voters he said, ‘I will greatly decrease your votes of uploading; with impatience you will wait for an upload space. Your worship will be for greater members, and they will rule over you.”
………To the other members he said, ‘Because you listened to your inferiors and voted for the scam which I commanded you, ‘You must not vote for it,’ cursed is the Powder Game because of you; through painful toil you will study it all the messages of your life. It will produce first uploads and scams for you, and you will vote for that of others. By the sweat of your brow you will see your upload neglected until you leave your accounts since from it you were logged; for cookies you are and to cookies you will return.’
………The members named the noobs the Community, for they would become the laughingstock of all the living. The programmer TheListo made buttons of delete for the Members and the Community and taught them. And the programmer TheListo said ‘The member now has become like one of us, knowing post and spam. He must not be allowed to click on his mouse and upload also a scam for votes and be remembered forever.’ So the members deleted his uploads with flaming posts flashing back and forth in response to the uploads and thus avoiding further scams.
………The members advertized to their inferiors, the noobs, and they were the origin of TheShadowLord. They said, ‘With the help of the programmer we have brought forth an administrator.’ Later, they brought forth his equal, Shirogake. Now Shirogake herded noobs and TheShadowLord worked the spammers. In the course of time TheShadowLord brought some of the locked topics of the forum as an offering to the programmer. But Shirogake brought banned members from some of the noobiest of the Comment Boards. The programmer looked with favor on Shirogake and his offerings, but TheShadowLord and his offering he did not look with favor. So the programmer appointed Shirogake as administrator while TheShadowLord remained security administrator. So TheShadowLord was very angry, and his face was downcast.
………Then the programmer said to TheShadowLord, ‘Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be promoted? But if you do not do what is right, spam is crouching at our door; it desires to overcome us, but you must master it.’
………Now TheShadowLord said to his equal ‘Let’s go out to the General Talk.’ And while they did, TheShadowLord flamed his equal Shirogake and demoted him. Then the programmer said to TheShadowLord, ‘Where is your equal Shirogake?’ ‘I don’t know,’ he replied. ‘Am I my equal’s moderator?’ The programmer said, ‘What have you done? Listen! Your equal’s Private Messages cry out to me from the spam. Now you are under a curse and your username, now ‘ISHOULDN’TMESSWITHG’ shall be driven into the Forum, which opened its mouth to receive your equal’s demotions. When you maintain the forum, it will no longer yield it’s noobs to you. You will be an emo wandering on the forum.’
………TheShadowLord said to the programmer, ‘My punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the Forums, and I will be a hidden user in your presence; I will be awesome on the forum, but whoever finds me will ban me.’ But the programmer said to him, ‘Not so; if anyone bans a Staff member, he will suffer vengeance seven times over, because seven is a cool number.’ Then the programmer promoted TheShadowLord so that no one who found him could ban him. So TheShadowLord went out from the programmer’s presence and left from the land of Dan Ball, east of Falling Sand.
………TheShadowLord advertized with his friend, and they bore MonoChrome. MonoChrome was building a website, and he named it after himself Chrome Studios. To MonoChrome was advertized LinkzCap, and LinkzCap was the bringer of TwistClock, and TwistClock brought forth WindexGlow, and WindexGlow was the bringer of ShiningSilver. ShiningSilver was with two friends, one named Vanguard and the other Supermike. Vanguard brought forth PowderMaster; he was an advertiser to those who upload series and raise noobish requests. His equal’s name was PowderFreak; he was the advertiser for all who play forum games and contests. Supermike also brought a member, QwertyuiopthePie, who forged all kinds of posts of constructive criticism and nonjas. QwertyuiopthePie’s equal was named SonKidd.
………ShiningSilver said to his new members, ‘Vanguard and Supermike, listen to me; members from ShiningSilver, hear my words. I have banned a noob for flaming me, a young noob for insulting me. If TheShadowLord is avenged seven times, then ShiningSilver seventy-seven times, because seven is a cool number, and seventy-seven has two sevens, so it’s really cool.’
………The first members advertised to the noobs again, and they brought forth a member named Secret, saying ‘TheListo has granted us another member in place of Shirogake, since TheShadowLord demoted him.’ Secret also advertized a member, and he was named Elton. At that time members began to call on the name of the programmer.
………This is the registered account of TheListo’s line. When TheListo created G, he made him in the adminship of TheListo. He created him admin and mod and blessed him. And when he were created, he called him ‘G.’
………When G had posted 130 times, he had a noob in his own likeness, in his own power, and he named him SonKidd. After SonKidd joined, G posted 800 posts and advertized other noobs and members. Altogether, G posted 930 times, and then he stopped. When SonKidd had posted 105 times, he became the recruiter of Saza. SonKidd posted 807 times and had other noobs and members. Altogether, SonKidd posted 912 times, and then he stopped. When Saza had posted 90 times, he became the recruiter of Jack50p. And after he became the recruiter of Jack50p, he posted 815 times and had other noobs and members. Altogether, Saza posted 905 times, and then he stopped. When Jack50p had posted 70 times, he became the recruiter of Aerodude. After he became the recruiter of Aerodude, Jack50p posted 840 times and had other noobs and members. Altogether, Jack50p posted 910 times, and then he stopped. When Aerodude had posted 65 times, he recruited Jakebob. After he became the recruited of Jakebob, he posted 830 times and had other noobs and members. Altogether, Aerodude posted 895 times, and then he stopped. When Jakebob had posted 162 times, he became the recruiter of Wiiwillrockyou. And after he became the recruiter of Wiiwillrockyou, Jakebob posted 800 times and had other noobs and members. Altogether, Jakebob posted 962 times, and then he stopped. When Wiiwillrockyou had posted 65 times, he became the recruiter of TheGanondorfChampion. After he became the recruiter for TheGanondorfChampion, Wiiwillrockyou posted with TheListo 300 times and had other noobs and members. Altogether, Wiiwillrockyou posted 365 times. Wiiwillrockyou posted with TheListo; then he was no more, because TheListo banned him away. When TheGanondorfChampion had posted 187 times, he became the recruiter of Avenger. And after he became the recruiter of Avenger he posted 782 times and had other noobs and members. Altogether, TheGanondorfChampion posted 969 times, and then he stopped.
………When Avenger had posted 182 times, he recruited an admin. He named him SwearingWorth and said, ‘He will supply us with the labor and painful graphic artistry caused by the Photoshop the Programmer had given.’ After SwearingWorth was recruited, Avenger posted 595 times and had other noobs and members. Altogether, Avenger had 777 posts, and then he stopped. After SwearingWorth posted 500 times, he became the recruiter of SoccerKing, DarkRaine, and TheDarkMaster.
………When members began to increase in number on the Forum and girls were recruited by them, the members of TheListo saw that the girls of members were hawt, and they harassed any of them they chose. The Programmer said ‘My account shall not contend with a member forever, for he is spammy; his posts will be a hundred and twenty posts.’ The Greats were on the Comment Boards in those days—and so afterward—when the members of TheListo went to the girls from members and recruited noobs with them. They were uploaders of old, members of renown.
………The Programmer saw how the Greats’ arrogance on the Comment Boards had become, and that every inclination of the posts of his account was only advertizing all the time. The Programmer was grieved that he had made noobs on the Comment Boards, and his forum filled with spam. So the Programmer said, ‘I will wipe the forums, which I have made it.’ But G found favor in the eyes of the Programmer. This is the account of SwearingWorth. SwearingWorth was a rule-following member, spamless among the noobs of his time, and he posted with TheListo. SwearingWorth recruited three members: SoccerKing, DarkRaine, and TheDarkMaster.
………Now the Comment Board was spammy in all of TheListo’s sight and was full of scamming. TheListo saw how spammy the Comment Board had become, for all the noobs on the Comment Board had spammed their ways. So TheListo said to SwearingWorth, ‘I am going to clear all topics, for the forum is filled with spam because of them. I am surely going to clear them and the Comment Board. So make yourself a disk of metally stuff; make memory in it and fill it with .cmd both inside and out. This is how you are to write it: The disk is to be 450GB, 75MB, and 45KB. Make a shiny thing for it and finish the disk to within 18cm of the sides. Put a hole in the center of the disk and make lower, upper, and middle folders. I am going to bring prune on the Forums to destroy all topics under the Forum, every member that has the post of spam in it. Everything on the Comment Board will be banned. But I will establish my promotion for you, and you will load the disk—you and your members and your recruits and your members’ recruits with you. You are to backup into the disk two of all posted topics, spam and post, to keep them alive with you. Two of every kind of member, of every kind of noob, and of every kind of spambot that moves along the topics will come to you to be kept intact. You are to take any kind of PM that is to be saved and store it away as memory for you and for them.
………The Programmer said to SwearingWorth, ‘Go onto the disk, you and your whole forum, because I have found you rule-following in this spambot generation. Take with you seven of every kind of clean user, a member and its noob, and two of every kind of unclean user, a spammy member and a spammy noob, and also seven of every kind of uploader, scammer and regular, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the Comment Board. Seven messages from now I will send pruning on the Forums for forty days and forty times, and I will wipe from the face of the Forum every spammy topic I have made.
………And SwearingWorth did all that the Programmer commanded him. SwearingWorth had six hundred posts when the pruning came on the Forum. And SwearingWorth and his members and his recruits and his members’ recruits loaded the disk to escape the deletion of the prune. Pairs of post and spammy topics, of users, and of all bots that post along the topics, member and noob, came to SwearingWorth and loaded onto the disk, as TheListo had commanded SwearingWorth. And after the seven posts the pruning came on the Forum.
………On the six hundredth post of SwearingWorth’s account, on the seventeenth message on the second topic—on the day that all the deletion of the great Staff burst forth, and the delete ability of the Staff was opened. And topics fell from the Forum forty days and forty times. On that very day SwearingWorth and his members, SoccerKing, DarkRaine, and TheDarkMaster, together with his recruit and the recruits of his three members, loaded themselves onto the disk. They had with them every posted topic according to its section, every user that posts along the Forums according to its usergroup, and every noob according to its spam, everything with posts. Pairs of all topics that have the post of spam in them came to SwearingWorth and loaded onto the disk. The topics going in were normal and spammy of every different subject, as TheListo had commanded SwearingWorth. Then the Programmer shut his computer down.
………For forty days the pruning kept coming to the Forums, and as the topics decreased they emailed the disk far away from the Forum. The topics fell and decreased greatly on the Forums, and the disk loaded on the email of TheListo’s computer. The topics fell greatly on the Forums, and all the large announcements under the entire Forums were deleted. The pruning increased and toppled all the big stickies to a size of less than twenty posts. Every posting thing that spammed on the Forums was deleted—noobs, members, spammers, all the bots that spam over the Forums, and all users. Everything on spammed topics that had the post of spam in its history was deleted. Every posting thing on the face of the Forum was wiped off; members and noobs and spammers that post along the topics and the Staff of the Lounge were wiped off the Forum. Only SwearingWorth was left, and those he downloaded with himself onto the disk. The forum remained empty for one hundred and fifty days.
………But TheListo remembered SwearingWorth and all the spammy noobs and the topics that were on the disk, and he set the prunes off on the Forum, and the deletions receded. Now the locks of the sections and the flood-warnings of the admin panel remained useless, and the pruning had stopped working on the Forum. At the end of a hundred and fifty deletions the site was down, and on the seventeenth time of the seventh internet company attempted the Forum came online on the domain of Proboards. The deletions continued to slow until the tenth subject, and on the first topic on the tenth subject the topics of the Forum became visible.
………After forty attempts SwearingWorth opened the window displaying the files he loaded in the disk and sent out a bot, and it kept searching back and forth until the topics had been forgotten from the Forums. Then he sent out a noob to see if the pruning had receded from the surface of the Forums. But the noob could find no topic to ask stupid questions because there was nothing over all the sections of the Forum; so it returned to SwearingWorth in the disk. He reached out his mouse and copy-pasted it back to himself in the disk. He waited seven more days and again set out the noob from the disk. When the noob returned to him in the evening, there in his PM was a freshly screenshotted post! Then SwearingWorth knew that the pruning had receded from the Forum. He waited seven more posts and sent out the noob again. This time it spammed and was banned and did not return to him.
………By the first post of the first topic of SwearingWorth’s six hundred and first noob, the pruning had stopped on the Forum. SwearingWorth removed the lock from the disk and saw that the surface of the Forum was clear. By the twenty seventh post of the second topic, the forum was completely clear. The TheListo said to SwearingWorth, ‘Email me the disk containing you and your recruit and your members and your members’ recruits. Send me every kind of spammy topic that is with you—the noobs, the bots, and the members that post along the Forum—so that they could multiply on the Forum and be posting and increase in number upon it. So SwearingWorth emailed, together with his members and his recruits and his members’ recruits. All the noobs and all the posters that spam along the Forum and all the bots—everything that posts on the forum—was loaded onto the Forum, one kind after another. Then SwearingWorth posted an announcement to TheListo and, taking some of the clean users and clean noobs, he posted banned offerings on it. The Programmer read the pleasing test and said in his PM: ‘Never again will I curse the Forums because of spam, even though every inclination of user’s text is spammy from noobhood. And never again will I delete all posting members, as I have done: ‘As long as the Forum endures, post and spam, flaming and constructive criticism, discussion and off topic, debate and questioning will never cease.’’
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[M:7000]
