Post by vaconcovat on Apr 8, 2010 16:50:35 GMT -5
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: "Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from-"
Stranger: hii
You: Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
Stranger: k
You: "It's not too late for you to turn back."
Stranger: what will be served if i dont quit now?
You: "You are kidding me! Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator? That has got to be the dumbest thing that- Whoa, Whoa, WHOAAA... Heh heh heh heh... Good news. I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a Morality Core they installed after I flooded the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the Neurotoxin Emitters."
Stranger: k
You: "There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all of your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, 'the Companion Cube'. Of course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file; 'Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.' SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too."
Stranger: k
You: 1 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. 1 can prepared coconut pecan frosting. 3/4 cup vegetable oil. 4 large eggs. 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. 3/4 cups butter or margarine. 1&2/3 cups granulated sugar. 2 cups all purpose flour. Don't forget garnishes such as: Fish shaped crackers. Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped solid waste, Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped ethyl benzene. Pull and peel licorice.. Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. Candy coated peanut butter pieces, Shaped like fish. 1 cup lemon juice. Alpha resins. Unsaturated polyester resin. Fiberglass surface resins. And volatile malted milk impoundments. 9 large egg yolks. 12 medium geosynthetic membranes. 1 cup granulated sugar. An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'. 2 cups rhubarb, sliced. 2/3 cups granulated rhubarb. 1 tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. 1 teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. 3 tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. 1 large rhubarb. 1 cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. 2 tablespoons rhubarb juice. Adjustable aluminum head positioner. Slaughter electric needle injector. Cordless electric needle injector. Injector needle driver. Injector needle gun. Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
Stranger: haha. all i saw was "deep penetration agents"
You: Thank you for assuming the party escort submission position.
You have disconnected.
You: "Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from-"
Stranger: hii
You: Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
Stranger: k
You: "It's not too late for you to turn back."
Stranger: what will be served if i dont quit now?
You: "You are kidding me! Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator? That has got to be the dumbest thing that- Whoa, Whoa, WHOAAA... Heh heh heh heh... Good news. I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a Morality Core they installed after I flooded the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the Neurotoxin Emitters."
Stranger: k
You: "There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all of your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, 'the Companion Cube'. Of course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file; 'Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.' SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too."
Stranger: k
You: 1 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. 1 can prepared coconut pecan frosting. 3/4 cup vegetable oil. 4 large eggs. 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. 3/4 cups butter or margarine. 1&2/3 cups granulated sugar. 2 cups all purpose flour. Don't forget garnishes such as: Fish shaped crackers. Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped solid waste, Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped ethyl benzene. Pull and peel licorice.. Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. Candy coated peanut butter pieces, Shaped like fish. 1 cup lemon juice. Alpha resins. Unsaturated polyester resin. Fiberglass surface resins. And volatile malted milk impoundments. 9 large egg yolks. 12 medium geosynthetic membranes. 1 cup granulated sugar. An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'. 2 cups rhubarb, sliced. 2/3 cups granulated rhubarb. 1 tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. 1 teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. 3 tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. 1 large rhubarb. 1 cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. 2 tablespoons rhubarb juice. Adjustable aluminum head positioner. Slaughter electric needle injector. Cordless electric needle injector. Injector needle driver. Injector needle gun. Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
Stranger: haha. all i saw was "deep penetration agents"
You: Thank you for assuming the party escort submission position.
You have disconnected.